Talking CCTV cameras installed in Britain
Big Brother is watching you – and he also wants to tell you to pick up your trash you threw on the ground. Both popular tech news sites The Register and The Inquirer cover this story. Interesting to note that for every 14 Brits, there is one camera.
IT WAS a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Winston Smith and his posse were sniffing glue in the litter-strewn shopping mall, waiting for a hapless mugging victim to stroll by. High overhead, a desultory, mangy pigeon was disturbed by the whine of a servo motor as the cameras tracked lazily across the scene. Suddenly, the silence was shattered as a shrill voice, distorted by cheap electronics, crackled: “Excuse me, would you mind picking up that piece of paper you’ve just dropped?” Gripped by terror at hearing the voice of Big Brother, the gang ran as if their very lives were at stake. Law and order had been restored.
It’s a funny little world Home Secretary John Reid must live in. According to the BBC, he’s just signed off half a million quid to equip 20 town centres across England with talking CCTV cameras, claiming that people dropping litter or committing anti-social behaviour will stop immediately if someone in a cosy control centre ten miles away and has no way of posing any physical threat whatsoever tells them off. No doubt they will also be so ashamed that they will immediately sign up for Bible study classes and become model citizens.
Reid is planning competitions at schools across the land to find kids to provide the voice of Big Brother. Now, if there’s one thing certain to put the fear of God into a gang of knife-wielding teenage crack addicts, it’s the voice of little Susie from Year Four telling them off. “By funding and supporting these local schemes, the government is encouraging children to send this clear message to grown ups – act anti-socially and you will face the shame of being publicly embarrassed,” said the Home Secretary. “It helps counter things like litter, drunk or disorderly behaviour [and] gangs congregating.”
Law and order experts point out that a couple of policemen on the street might also achieve the same result, although this would obviously distract them from the vital tasks of shooting Brazilian electricians and setting up roadblocks to catch motorists with expired tax discs.
Source: The Inquirer
Comments(13)
fuk big brother, and while ur at it fuk the new world order, those illuminati banker scumfuks and bush too, he likes it in the ass anyway the stupid little twat!
Well, this CCTV madness over there in GB gives me the greeps. It was bad back in 2001, now it’s getting worse.
That’s why I prefer Sweden over GB. And because of these undeniable facts:
http://www.slideshare.net/paradoxed/sweden-vs-england/
Can’t argue about some nice swedish blondes.
Happy Easter!
ps: For those wankers out there, try a Google search and you will find the ppt file, so you can add the pictures in HQ to your rich pr0n selection
Haha, That picture is funny…
Hmm.
Fuckin English innit…. FUkin hell innit
yes >>>>> qwertz
@qwertz
Well they HAD to pick an english bar that looks like the local chav watering hole
this is fuckin disgusting! i could jsut baout put up with all the fucking cctv, but this is just over the fucking top!
This is the funniest story I have ever read – if only it wasn’t so TRUE ! What the hell is Britain coming to? Has anyone noticed that people have dropped the ‘Great’ ? Yeah, dragging a few coppers away from using 4 cars to chase someone doing 34mph in a 30 zone and getting to grips with the wheel clamping parking Nazi’s might just result in there being enough blue around making the streets safe enough for your granny to get her pension without getting knifed on the way home – or maybe that’s a little too much to ask …..
Sweden rulezzz.. england droooolzzz! what a fucking shit country england is. you have no privacy or freedom and your life belongs to your masters.. first cameras to watch everyone, next you get sharia law! fuck yeah! down with freedom for english looserzzz!
God I hope that dosent happen here. But I’m sure if it did that we wouldnt even be allowed to see where they are.
If Sweden is so much better than Britain, why do so many of your citizens kill themselves?
*Suicide rates per 100 000 by country, year and sex
Most recent year available: December 2005
Country Males Females
Sweden 20.0 8.5
United Kingdom 11.0 3.2
* Source: World Health Organization.
@willy go n suk ur willy Willy.
I think this is disgraceful but England is far from being “a fucking shit country” as Willy so kindly put it.
Get some educationzzz you dick, pun intended.