Comments (640)

401. stupidtony
     August 29th, 2007 | 12:42

     Smoothtony, go and buy the fucking game, but get the hell out of here and join your noobish steam friends. damn TROLL!

402. Serialz
     August 29th, 2007 | 13:08

     @401 I’s True !!!!!

     @402 Fuck You and Go to Hell !!!!!

     For the Speed Noob Like “Stupidtony” Put you’r hand in your ass !!!!!

403. Max
     August 29th, 2007 | 13:31

     #Thin Mints wrote: The demo was actually doing you a favor. Max had it pretty close with that msvcr80.dll error.

     Ehmm ok ok i’m downloading the demo. But could you please share (with me and the others of the forum) another little hint or trick that took you to the light?.
     Jesus how’s is harder…

404. sAge
     August 29th, 2007 | 13:39

     :: RAZOR1911 CRACK ::

     http://www.binsearch.info/?q=rzr-bsk&max=25&adv_age=7&server=

405. markus
     August 29th, 2007 | 13:48

     is it working and if so how do i get it

406. fabek
     August 29th, 2007 | 13:51

     :: RAZOR1911 CRACK ::
     Date: 2007-08-17

     :/ big doubt on it

407. fabek
     August 29th, 2007 | 14:02

     :: RAZOR1911 CRACK ::
     =
     blocked on the activation window

408. kcko
     August 29th, 2007 | 14:07

     Yep not working, activation step passed, then launch and … nothing, we’re close guy, really close !

409. sAge
     August 29th, 2007 | 14:08

     “blocked on the activation window”

     Me to, sorry

410. NoHitWonder
     August 29th, 2007 | 14:12

     The age on the search is 1 hour, and there is only 1/16 atm, Looking good? or just a LAME fake?

411. so close?
     August 29th, 2007 | 14:33

     So the activation will be passed if you copy the bioshock.exe, core.u and scripting.u from the demo. but the game crashes on startup screen. so what else needs to be done?

412. sAge
     August 29th, 2007 | 15:06

     “so what else needs to be done?”

     Money

413. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 15:17

     Nah I’ll keep the hack to myself and you all can sit and think about me playing. Oh this game is so great; here is my review that I wrote.
     What can I say. ..?
     Well after the thousand or so WW II shooters out there It’s nice to see a great origional story line. Bioshock give me the feeling I had the first time I played HL & HL 2. Dark Messiah and STALKER almost did it but with all the bugs ithey fell a bit short. I have herd of some people having issues with playability but so far I’m smooth sailing; save for the occasional hanging fireball. The Hack feature while it does get a little old after a while is a great twist and all the choices to be made @ vending machines, Uinvents, and weapon upgrades as well as the variety in which you can dispatch you enemies seems to give this game great replayability. Well I off. time to get back to rapture and see what else is in store for me.
     never played any of the Systemshock games, so this was my first visit to the shock world. I can’t say I am very impressed either. Except for when it comes to graphics. The graphics are absolutely wonderful.

     It doesn’t matter if I am looking out the window, looking at surroundings indoors or just looking at the enemies. They’re all very well done. Animation is ok, nothing spectacular. They managed to get that feeling of everything being wet or damp in a good way.

     The voice acting is good as well. Nothing spectacular, since you rarely have any conversations with anyone. No wait, you NEVER have any conversation with anyone. All you do is listen to your radio and random tapes you find. I always find it lacking when the main character is void of personality and lines to speak.

     The story then?
     Well, have you played Doom 3? Or F.E.A.R.? If you have, you know the drill. Listen to your radio, listen to tapes scattered all over the place. That works well in both Doom 3 and F.E.A.R. for two simple reasons. 1: In Doom 3, you are usually familiar with the setting, and what the game is about. (I suspect most of you out there has played Doom 1 and/or Doom 2) In F.E.A.R. it all plays out in “our” world. Also copied elements from Doom 3 (the scattered messages) and The Ring (scary little girls who go on a killing spree) You can relate to these things. Bioshock? An underwater city in the 1950’s with scattered messages all over. Unregulated by any government except its own, which is a crazy guy with too much money who built it all. First of all, the city is huge. In order to have the funds to build it, you have to be so rich that if you add up all the money in the world right now, it still wouldn’t be enough. It’s just a bit too extreme, at least for me and I am a sci-fi nerd. It just doesn’t strike me as believable. Also the scattered messages, it worked well in Doom 3 and F.E.A.R. because you could relate. I really can’t relate to an underwater world gone insane in the 1950’s. Sorry, I just can’t.

     The main character is a mystery too. A lone survivor from a plane who crashed without any reason (or so it seems, nothing in the story so far indicates why it crashed) who then when he enters this strange underwater world, takes the first syringe he can find with a glowy content and proceeds to shoot up. SAY WHAT? If I, especially in the 1950’s with their very limited technology, found an underwater city, believe me when I say that the first thing I do when I find a syringe with a glowing content is NOT to inject it into anything. Story wise, too much doesn’t add up. Ambitious yes, but not believable.

     The game is fairly entertaining but not all it’s cracked up to be.

414. Max
     August 29th, 2007 | 15:43

     Ohhh c’mon Thin Mints we already tried everything …. you know how hard it is.
     Before i’m not taking about to the real solution but only just another little hint.
     I’m trying to convert the demo in the release LOL… but its a fucker.
     As i touch the content dir the msvcr80 shit return.
     And i confirm HATRED use the demo exe to made their partial crk. I dont know if i choiced the correct path.

415. so close?
     August 29th, 2007 | 16:24

     i guess Thin Mints didn’t even “crack” anything.. he’s just a dumb bitch trying to fool us..

416. Max
     August 29th, 2007 | 16:33

     @so close

     Like i dont know it… LoL
     Just playing with him. Look at his e-ego jumping

417. JovialKnight
     August 29th, 2007 | 16:49

     http://www.ryan1918.com/viewtopic.php?t=13295&highlight=&sid=ad32c05110d86055250938f5171e3fba

418. JovialKnight
     August 29th, 2007 | 16:53

     Comment on above link /\

     Looks like the rofles is a kiddy after attention too? My take on this is that the scene is supposed to be about anarchic yet organisation of groups to fuck over cooperate ass holes like Sony. It’s a shame that it has become a place where dumb kids can play about.

419. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 16:54

     Well i used the exe from the demo, and then the RELOADED key gen. Also the “Paul” files. I did the copy of install folder. It took me a while. My start button did not work, I am a C++ programmer by day so i wrote a code to emulate the start button. I can run the game but it keep crashing to the desktop. I had to disable my internet.

420. JovialKnight
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:01

     Nice one. Good try, better than I could do for sure.

421. so close?
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:11

     yeah, nice try. if u use the demo exe u won’t need a keygen, because the query won’t appear.. moron..

422. so close?
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:12

     and RELOADED never released a keygen for this..

423. Mropinion
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:15

     Well i bought this for my 360 after playing the demo, my isnt man enough to do it justice.

     even on the suposedly inferior 360 platform I think this game is well worth £35, which is prob less in the states.

     The games company obviously have put so much into this game, I’d say to anyone who can afford to buy it to buy it. it rewards them for making such a cool game. and lets face it none of you would still be arsing around trying to hack it when u could be playing.

     Best game Ive played since original halflife, if ur gonna buy one game this year i suggest you make it this one.

     Have fun!!!!

424. Hello
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:26

     Ouais bin pascal il est gay

425. pants
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:27

     well i just got it for 20 pounds in a supermarket , i have installed it and put the bloody cd-key in loads of times it wont work , now i got to wait for them to get off there ars an send me an unlock code the twats :@

426. markus
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:38

     well the forums of this teamloosh and the site dig do confirm a working crack that is due to come soon.
     looks real to me

427. so close?
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:38

     is it really that hard to bypass the activation in the bioshock.exe? i can’t imagine..

428. N00bs
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:39

     Just some information for you would be crackers here:
     the file called “dfe” in the directory contrains encrypted files that will be decrypted once activation is complete, if someone break the encryption on that file, we’re pretty much on goal.

429. N00bs
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:41

     more about the DFE file here:
     http://www.securom.com/SecuROM_PC_Technical_Facts.pdf

430. Thin Mints to "so close?"
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:44

     Whatever its running. I will not post on this site any more.
     IF YOU NEED HELP, CALL ME AT this NUMBER. IT IS MY WORK NUMBER but its not toll free. I work for EBgames (864)587-9117. Ask for the manager on duty and u will get me (Jamie). I have it hacked. Tell ashley hi she is a nice young lady their.

431. N00bs
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:50

     Thin Mints:

     i guess that information is worth its weight in gold from the producers of that game.
     If someone where to tips them about you

     Not wise to post phone number and where you work m8

432. Thin Mints to "N00bs"
     August 29th, 2007 | 17:55

     at least i have a good job, also we get calls all during the day. so one or too more aint a big deal. oh and SHUT UP!

433. Thin Mints to "N00bs"
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:00

     where do u work N00bs? JAck’s Pickles and Pen*s Pumps?

434. N00bs
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:00

     Working at EBgames isnt a good job. LOL!

435. Thin Mints to "N00bs"
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:01

     N00bs im sorry that comment was uncalled for.

436. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:02

     I think Im the most knowledgeable person on the forum, If u have questions call me or email me. Chunkylover53@aol.com

437. fl0w
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:05

     Thin Mints maybe I can help you.
     I’m the toilet duty manager at 2k games.

     I cracked it long before the release.
     Call me if you want, ask for Mickey (number is on the website).

     While your at it say hi to Mini and Pluto for me, they are great.

     On a serious note: did you consider a career in politics or stand up comedy? You have talent for both pall.

438. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:14

     Anyone complete the game yet? I am stuck on level 1-2. I am trying to get to the secret warp pipe.

439. Thin Mints regarding ft0w
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:19

     yeah back in 89′. Back then Men were Men. not these little sissy boys like “SO_Close” and “N00bs” the above posters. In them to when I was in Nam’. We called them “Pleasure Soldiers” they would wash your clothes and shine your shoes for u. They also wore clothes that was 2 sizes to small. Yeah they would take you just like mommy would. I miss them.

440. Jhonny2Knucles
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:33

     Why all The Foolishness Over A silly Game..I Got It Hacked and Cracked Not A Big Deal..10+1=7

441. DaLoon
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:33

     woohoo i went to morrisons in UK 20 squid an all ok lol , me off to play….i did not mind paying 20 squid was worth it but anymore no way dont get a lot for your pennys i mean no online play gfx great but baa humbugs lets hope crysis not so hard to crack i dont want to have to wait till i se that cheep an go spend money again

442. Socrates
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:51

     I spend more on coffee in the morning than you make in a 2 weeks wage.

443. Max
     August 29th, 2007 | 18:54

     Yo Yo guys calm down….
     Let’s say a thing nobody from know will say “I cracked it I cracked it LOL I’m jesus” if will not share with the community the solution.
     So i think will not belive anyone without fatcs and proofs.
     Just think how many times do use a crack made by another one person?? Is that the power of the Internet and communities not all the bullshit behind “I can say any bullshit nobody knows me for real”. So stop fukking bullshit.

444. Coffin.Filler
     August 29th, 2007 | 19:46

     @ DaLoon

     Im in UK also. What Morrisons stoer you get it for £20 ?
     If I can find for £20 i will go halfs with my bro and at a £10 each =

     How low is the lowest any1 has seen this game for ?

445. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 20:05

     SCREW YOU GUYS, I’m GOING HOME!
     __.{,_.).__
     .-” “-.
     .’ __………__ ‘.
     /.-’`___…….___`’-.\
     /_.-’` / \ / \ `’-._\
     | | ‘/ \’ | |
     | ‘-’ ‘-’ |
     ; ;
     _\ ___ /_
     / ‘.’-.__ ___ __.-’.’ \
     _/_ `’-…_____…-’` _\_
     / \ . / \
     \____) . (____/
     \___________.___________/
     \___________________/
     (_____________________)

446. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 20:13

     What wiki says about bio shock…
     BioShock is a first-person shooter with RPG customization elements to the game, similar to that found in the spiritual predecessor, System Shock 2. A 14 minute video showing gameplay and some of the game’s AI was released on September 20, 2006.[9]

     The player collects weapons, health packs, and Plasmids that give him special powers such as telekinesis or electro-shock, while fighting off the deranged population of the underwater city of Rapture. The player at times will need to use stealth to slip by security cameras and foes, and can also hack into security stations to turn automated drones to his side.

     The main resources in the game are ADAM, EVE, and Money. ADAM is used for character growth, EVE (which is similar to “mana” in fantasy RPGs) allows the use of Active Plasmids, and Money allows the purchase of special items and ammunition as well as bribing, or effectively ‘buying off’ security bots and turrets.

     To adapt and advance his character, the player can spend ADAM to gain Plasmids to modify himself and give himself new or enhanced abilities and weapons. These are grouped under the Combat, Engineering, Active, and Physical trees. The “Active” Plasmids are essentially alternate weapons, activated by the player in order to be used. The other classes of Plasmids (referred to as Tonics) are passive ability-boosters. One Tonic (Camouflage) causes the character to become invisible when he is not moving.

     The developers encourage the player to use their super-powered plasmids imaginatively[citation needed]. Plasmids are versatile, and the player can use them in concert with each other and the environment to great effect. For example, one of the first bosses the player will face is a crazed surgeon. The player can use Incinerate to set him on fire, then as he tries to put himself out in a pool of water the player can use ElectroBolt to electrocute the water. While he is stunned and convulsing, the player can hack a nearby medical station so that it will poison the surgeon when he tries to heal himself. Telekinesis can be used on anything not nailed down; not only can the player catch grenades or rockets and throw them back at an enemy, he can also pick up a burning object and throw it to set an enemy on fire, or even defuse and re-set traps. The player has a limited number of slots to use on different types of Plasmids, so they have to decide which ones to arm themselves with and which to put into storage.

     It is hinted that some (if not all) Plasmids alter the character’s appearance (some screenshots show the character’s hands with a texture similar to some of the splicers’ skin), keeping up with the theme of “sacrificing your humanity” referenced by Ryan in one of the game’s trailers.[10] The ‘improved’ versions of Plasmids have a more drastic effect on the player’s appearance (for example, the initial Electro Bolt Plasmid has little effect on the player’s appearance, however when upgraded to Electro Bolt 2, warts and skin disfigurations can be clearly seen on the player’s hand). In all, there are over 70 plasmids and tonics.

     There is also weapon customization. The player can alter weapons to hold bigger magazines, to augment firepower, etc.. The player can also equip each weapon with three different kinds of ammo (for example, the revolver can shoot normal, anti-personnel and armor piercing bullets). There is also a camera in the game that can be used to learn an enemy’s weakness.

     The player also has access to a type of vending machine called U-Invent[citation needed], where the player can combine bits of scrap found around Rapture to create ammo, traps, hacking devices, and so on. Instead of reloading a saved game state if death occurs, the player will simply respawn at the nearest Vita Chamber.[11]

     Plot

     The player takes the role of Jack (taken from the name on the package he holds), a passenger on a plane that crashes over the Atlantic Ocean near Rapture in 1960. Descending into Rapture via a bathysphere terminus, he discovers the city has fallen into chaos. As Jack’s bathysphere completes its journey to the city, a man called Atlas, communicating through a short-wave radio, directs Jack to safety from nearby Splicers. Ryan watches Jack’s every move through the security cameras and thinks him to be a CIA or KGB agent; as a result, Ryan repeatedly uses Rapture’s automated systems and his Splicer armies, controlled by pheromones pumped into Rapture’s air supply, to slow down and kill Jack. Atlas tells Jack that the only way he can survive is to inject himself with plasmids and to use the abilities they give him. Atlas also tells Jack to kill the Little Sisters, in order to harvest the ADAM they carry to become more powerful. Dr. Tenenbaum, who is also watching Jack’s progress, insists that Jack only kill the sea slug, so as to rescue the human girl within each Little Sister; while Jack would gain some ADAM but not as much as by killing the Sister, Dr. Tenenbaum promises that she will reward him greatly for saving the girls.[14]

     As Jack works his way through the city, he learns through audio journals and diaries of the deceased left about Rapture. Prior to the collapse of society, Ryan’s power was challenged by other groups. Frank Fontaine, a mobster that smuggled goods into the city, had sufficient power, money, and supporters to fight against Ryan. Atlas himself was a leading political figure in an uprising group; as a result, Atlas’s wife and child were kidnapped from him and locked away in a bathysphere, which is why Atlas assists Jack, in hopes he will help save them. Unfortunately, as soon as the two arrive, Ryan sadistically causes the bathysphere to explode; an enraged Atlas tells Jack he must find and kill Ryan. Jack moves through the wreckage to Ryan’s Splicer-patrolled residence.

     Eventually Jack makes his way to Ryan, who has stopped putting up any resistance to Jack’s efforts. Instead, he reveals to Jack why he is here: Jack was actually born in Rapture; Ryan’s illegitimate son as a result of an affair with Jasmine Jolene, a prostitute. Ryan further informs Jack that he was trained by Fontaine to be an assassin. Fontaine sent him topside when he was two years old, then just prior to the present of the game, sent him instructions that trigger his conditioning to hijack a plane, crash it near Rapture’s surface entrance, seek out Ryan, and assassinate him. Ryan calmly demonstrates Jack’s lack of free will by ordering Jack to kill him, using the trigger phrase “Would you kindly…”. Jack realizes that Atlas has been using the same phrase since he arrived in Rapture. After Ryan is dead, Atlas reveals himself to be Fontaine. With Ryan dead, Fontaine no longer needs Jack, and leaves him to the fatally dangerous security systems of Ryan’s residence. However, Dr. Tenenbaum and her Little Sisters save Jack before security kills him.

     After Jack recovers, Dr. Tenenbaum assists him in getting to Fontaine by working out how to break Jack’s conditioned responses to Fontaine’s orders, including those that temporarily stop his heart[citation needed]. Dr. Tenenbaum predicts that the only way to approach Fontaine would be to assemble a Big Daddy suit and follow the rescued Little Sisters through passageways only they can access. As Jack approaches, Fontaine, fearing for his life, injects himself with all the ADAM he had stored up, becoming an inhuman monster. Jack and the Little Sisters are eventually able to subdue Fontaine.

     Depending on player actions before this point, one of two things will happen. If during the game the player rescued the Little Sisters , as requested by Dr. Tenenbaum, the Little Sisters swarm Atlas/Fontaine and stab him to death with their ADAM needles. The Little Sisters are then shown leaving Rapture. Tenenbaum goes on to explain that thanks to Jack, they can live normal lives in the outside world. The last scene is of an elderly Jack on his death bed, comforted by the now-adult Little Sisters. Dr. Tenenbaum notes that, “Jack received a family.”

     If the player has harvested the Little Sisters as urged on by Atlas/Fontaine, Jack is overcome with his lust for ADAM and snatches the nearest Little Sister when Fontaine is dead. The first person view ends and Tenenbaum begins a monologue in which she discusses how disgusted she is with Jack for his cruelty and lack of control, implying that he killed the Little Sisters. At the same time, a silent cut scene takes place in which a naval submarine surveying the downed plane’s crash site is surrounded with bathysphere pods from below. The sailors on the submarine’s deck gawk as the dozens of bathyspheres emerge from the ocean, carrying several Splicers each. The Splicers slaughter the submarine crew, and the camera halts on one of the sub’s onboard ICBMs before fading to black.

     [edit] Plot Holes

     Several possible plot holes exist in the story of Bioshock. The player is informed that he can use the vitachambers as he has part of Ryan’s DNA, yet when Ryan is killed the player is made to believe that he is permanently dead. Secondly the player is under the spell of Fontaine throughout the game up until he kills Ryan, yet the player is given the choice of harvesting or rescuing the little sisters, despite the fact that Atlas (Fontaine) tells him to harvest them.
     nfluences

     Levine has stated in an interview with gaming website IGN that the project has drawn on many influences, mostly from utopian and dystopian literature; “I have my useless liberal arts degree, so I’ve read stuff from Ayn Rand and George Orwell, and all the sort of utopian and dystopian writings of the 20th century, which I’ve found really fascinating.” He also states that he wanted to confront challenges that face the modern world such as “stem cell research and the moral issues that go around”.[15]

     In an interview appearing in gaming magazine EGM, Levine states:
     “ As a kid, I was obsessed with 1984 and Logan’s Run. I love exploring what happens when good ideas fall apart. ”

     The Shining(both the Stanley Kubrick film and Stephen King novel) has also been credited as being a huge influence by the developers in an IGN interview. The game’s spooky atmosphere has many thematic similarities to the Overlook Hotel.

     One reviewer compared BioShock to Orson Welles’ 1941 film, Citizen Kane, both of which are set in post-war America.[16]

     [edit] Similarities to System Shock series

     According to the developers, Bioshock is a spiritual successor to the System Shock games, and was developed by former developers of that series. Levine pointed out many similarities during his narration of a video initially screened for the press at E3 2006:[17] There are several comparable game play elements: Plasmids serve the same function as Psionic Abilities from System Shock 2; the player needs to deal with security cameras, turrets, and drones with the abilities to hack these; ammo conservation is stressed as “a key gameplay feature”, and audio recordings serve as the same storytelling device that email logs did.[17] The “ghosts” from System Shock 2, phantom images who replay tragic incidents in the places they occurred, also exist in BioShock, as do modifiable weapons with multiple ammunition types.

     [edit] Engine

     BioShock was initially developed using an enhanced version of the Vengeance engine, the highly modified version of Unreal Engine 2.5 technology used by previous Irrational titles Tribes: Vengeance, SWAT 4, and SWAT 4: The Stetchkov Syndicate. In an interview at E3 in May 2006, Levine announced a switch to a modified Unreal Engine 3.0. Levine emphasized the enhanced water effects, which he claimed would be very impressive: “We’ve hired a water programmer and water artist, just for this game, and they’re kicking ass and you’ve never seen water like this.”[18]

     BioShock utilizes the DirectX 10 feature set when available, but it will also run on older DirectX 9 hardware.[19]

     While industry rumors suggested that there might be a PlayStation 3 version of BioShock, based on the presence of text referencing the PlayStation 3 in the PC demo’s configuration files, Ken Levine has denied that there is any PS3 version in development. The demo is reportedly from an older build of the game, and an exclusive deal has been signed with Microsoft since then, limiting the title to Windows and Xbox 360.[20]

     [edit] Demo

     A free demo was released on Xbox Live Marketplace on August 12, 2007.[21] The PC demo was officially released on August 20, 2007. The official version of the PC demo is available for download from FileFront, FilePlanet, and GameSpot, and is also made available through the digital distribution program Steam (activation required).

     Larry Hryb (also known as Major Nelson) chatted with Ken Levine on his podcast about the BioShock demo.[22] The demo contains the first 45 minutes of the game and includes a beginning cinematic that established a setting and beginning plot lines. The demo also introduced a few weapons, such as the pistol and the machine gun, along with powers that can be used by the main character, such as ElectroBolt and Incinerate; some of these would normally be found later in the game, but were added in the demo in order to give players a taste of the full game. Insertformulahere

     Biography

     [edit] Early life

     Black is the son of two satellite engineers. His mother, Judith Cohen, is Jewish, while his father, Thomas Jack Black, Sr., converted.[1] He was raised in the Jewish religion.[2] His parents divorced when he was 10. Black moved to Culver City with his father and frequently visited his mother’s home until the end of his first year of college at UCLA when his father’s family moved abroad. As a child, Black appeared in an early Atari Pitfall! commercial,[3] which was later shown during an appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live and again on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

     When he entered high school, his parents suggested that he transfer to the Poseidon School, a private secondary school engineered specifically for students struggling in the traditional school system.[4] Black eagerly accepted the proposition, afraid that he would only be bullied if he remained in public school. He also attended the Crossroads School, where he excelled in drama. Black later attended UCLA but dropped out during his sophomore year to pursue a career in the entertainment business, at which point his father discontinued his financial support. Fellow UCLA veteran Tim Robbins later cast Black in Bob Roberts. He also had recurring roles on the HBO sketch comedy series Mr. Show.

     [edit] Acting career

     Black’s acting career began primarily with primetime TV. He played roles on several hit shows such as: The Golden Palace (Taxi Driver), Life Goes On (skinhead), The X-Files (Bart ‘Zero’ Liquori) and Northern Exposure (Kevin Wilkins, prom king). Black later took on small roles in Airborne, Demolition Man, The Cable Guy, Bob Roberts, Mars Attacks!, The Jackal, Bye Bye Love, Dead Man Walking, Enemy of the State, and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer before a breakthrough role as Barry, the pretentious co-worker to John Cusack’s record store owner in High Fidelity. His career soon led to leading roles in films such as Orange County, School of Rock, and the Academy Award-winning King Kong. Black starred in three films in 2006: Nacho Libre, in which he played a Mexican friar following his childhood dream of wrestling and pursuing true victory by fighting for the children of an orphanage, and Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny, a fictionalized account of the band’s formation and their quest to obtain a “supranatural” (sic) guitar pick (’Supranatural’ being on “a whole ‘nother level than” supernatural). Nacho Libre opened on June 16, 2006; Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny was released November 22, 2006. He starred alongside Jude Law, Cameron Diaz, and Kate Winslet in The Holiday, in which he played Miles, the love interest of Winslet’s character. He still occasionally makes TV appearances, including the short-lived animated television program Clone High.

     Black has appeared numerous times on the “untelevised TV network” short film festival Channel101, starring in the shows Computerman, Timebelt, and Laserfart. He also provided an introduction for the unaired sketch comedy, Awesometown, donning a Colonial-era military uniform. In the introduction, he claims to be George Washington (and takes credit for the accomplishments of other American Presidents such as Thomas Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln) and gives viewers a general idea as to what they should expect from the show. Black has also guest starred in the Adult Swim show Tom Goes to the Mayor as a bear trap store owner.

     Black appeared in an un-aired pilot episode for a show directed by Ben Stiller called Heat Vision and Jack where he played an ex-astronaut pursued by actor Ron Silver. He was accompanied by his friend who had merged with a motorcycle, voiced by Owen Wilson.

     In a Season 3 episode of The X-Files, titled “D.P.O.”, Black played Bart ‘Zero’ Liquori, friend to Darren, a teen who could cause lightning strikes, played by Giovanni Ribisi.

     Black recently hosted the 2006 Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards on April 1, 2006 and the MTV video music awards on August 31, 2006.

     He is also a member of the Frat Pack, which also includes Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, and Steve Carell.

     Jack Black has made five appearances on Saturday Night Live: three times as a host, once as a musical guest (with Kyle Gass as Tenacious D), and another appearance with Tenacious D, not as a host or musical guest.

     He appeared on VH1’s Internet video show Acceptable.TV.[5]

     [edit] Music career

     Main article: Tenacious D

     Black is the lead singer for the rock comedy band Tenacious D. Black’s singing style is often described as being a scat type of music. Black has dubbed this form of singing the “ventrili-solo”. Black has also performed a two-part scat with bandmate Gass in the song “Tribute”.

     Tenacious D has released two albums, a self-titled debut, and the follow up, The Pick of Destiny. The latter coincides with the movie Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny. The film, directed by Tenacious D veteran Liam Lynch, features recurring characters such as Lee the superfan and Sasquatch. Tim Robbins cameos (both Black and Gass appeared in Robbins’ 1999 film Cradle Will Rock), as does Dave Grohl as Satan. Ben Stiller also makes an appearance as a worker at Guitar Center.

     Black was also a guest star on an episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show entitled “Ellen the Musical”, alongside Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth and teenage singer-actress Olivia Olson. On the show, besides singing, he discussed his then-upcoming film Nacho Libre with the host.

     Black has also appeared on Dave Grohl’s Probot album, providing vocals for the hidden song “I Am The Warlock”, and Liam Lynch’s Fake Songs album, providing vocals for the song “Rock and Roll Whore”.

     Black performed a cover of Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On” in the last sequence of High Fidelity. He lent his musical abilities to the Queens of the Stone Age song “Burn the Witch” with rhythmic stomps and claps, some performed with his eyes closed.

     Black sang lead vocals with Sum 41 in the song “Things I Want,” which is currently unreleased, and performed a cover of “Kiss From a Rose” on an American Idol charity special in 2007.

     Black has not only appeared in music videos by Tenacious D, but also in the following:

     * Beck, “Sexx Laws”
     * Dio, “Push”
     * Foo Fighters, “Learn To Fly”
     * Foo Fighters, “Low”
     * Foo Fighters, “The One”
     * The Eagles of Death Metal, “I Want You So Hard (Boy’s Bad News)”
     * Foo Fighters, cover of AC/DC’s song “Back in Black” at MTV New Year’s Eve Party 2003
     * Queens of the Stone Age, “Burn the Witch”
     * “Sum 41″, “Things I Want”

     [edit] Personal life

     Black dated actress and comedian Laura Kightlinger from 1997 until 2005. In January 2006, he became engaged to Tanya Haden (daughter of the jazz double bassist Charlie Haden). Haden herself is an accomplished cellist. Both attended Crossroads school, but met again 15 years after graduating, at a friend’s birthday party. Black proposed marriage around Christmas 2005 with a $220,000 Neil Lane ring. They married on March 14, 2006, in Big Sur, California. Their son, Samuel Jason, was born on June 10, 2006.

     [edit] Comedic style

     Black’s comedic style combines many key elements from both sides of the traditional double act. Black typically begins a skit in which he presents an earnest introduction to a premise or subject that quickly reveals itself to be flawed or fundamentally ludicrous. Black then switches completely to a far-extreme caricature of human emotion. His would-be straight-man Gass often functions to trigger these outbursts. Tenacious D’s subject matter illustrates this technique:

     1. In “Tribute”, Tenacious D tells a story in which they claim to have performed “The Best Song in the World” for a “Shiny Demon” who would otherwise “eat their souls”.
     2. In “Inward Singing”, Black doesn’t merely discover a new vocal technique, he discovers what he refers to as “the most powerful tool in singing technology since yodeling”.

     Black’s skits also use the phrase ‘more cushion for the pushing’ including his guest appearance on Will & Grace and MTV Movie parody ‘Jack Black: Spiderman’.

     [edit] Filmography
     Year Title Role Other notes
     1992 Bob Roberts Roger Davis
     1993 Demolition Man Wasteland Scrap
     Airborne Augie
     1994 The NeverEnding Story III Slip
     Blind Justice Private
     1995 Waterworld Floatplane Gunner
     Dead Man Walking Craig Poncelet
     Bye Bye Love Party DJ
     1996 Mars Attacks! Billy Glenn Norris
     The Fan Technician
     The Cable Guy Rick
     Bio-Dome Tenacious D
     Crossworlds Steve
     1997 The Jackal Ian Lamont
     1998 I Still Know What You Did Last Summer Titus Telesco
     Enemy of the State Fiedler
     1999 Jesus’ Son George
     Cradle Will Rock Sid
     2000 High Fidelity Barry
     2001 Shallow Hal Hal Larson
     Saving Silverman J.D. McNugent
     2002 Orange County Lance Brumder
     Ice Age Zeke Voice only
     Run Ronnie Run Lead Chimney Sweeper
     2003 School of Rock Dewey Finn
     Melvin Goes to Dinner Mental Patient
     2004 Shark Tale Lenny Voice only
     Envy Nick Vanderpark
     Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy Motorcyclist Uncredited (cameo)
     2005 King Kong Carl Denham
     2006 Nacho Libre Nacho
     The Holiday Miles
     Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny JB (aka, himself)
     2007 Be Kind Rewind Jerry
     Margot at the Wedding Malcolm
     2008 Kung Fu Panda Po Voice only
     Tropic Thunder Jeff “Fats” Portnoy
     Ye Olde Times Professor Shockworthy
     Year One
     Master of Space and Time Unknown
     Madagascar 2 Unknown Voice only
     2009 Man-Witch Schoolteacher
     Them Unknown

     [edit] Salaries

     * $1,000,000 - Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny (2006)[6] Split equally with Kyle Gass, with whom will share 10% of gross revenues once production & marketing costs are recouped.
     * $8,000,000 - Nacho Libre (2006)
     * $2,000,000 - Orange County (2002)
     * $2,000,000 - Shallow Hal (2001)
     * $1,000,000 - Saving Silverman (2001)

447. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 20:14

     Also some info on the art of war

     . LAYING PLANS

     1. Sun Tzu said: The art of war is of vital importance
     to the State.

     2. It is a matter of life and death, a road either
     to safety or to ruin. Hence it is a subject of inquiry
     which can on no account be neglected.

     3. The art of war, then, is governed by five constant
     factors, to be taken into account in one’s deliberations,
     when seeking to determine the conditions obtaining in the field.

     4. These are: (1) The Moral Law; (2) Heaven; (3) Earth;
     (4) The Commander; (5) Method and discipline.

     5,6. The Moral Law causes the people to be in complete
     accord with their ruler, so that they will follow him
     regardless of their lives, undismayed by any danger.

     7. Heaven signifies night and day, cold and heat,
     times and seasons.

     8. Earth comprises distances, great and small;
     danger and security; open ground and narrow passes;
     the chances of life and death.

     9. The Commander stands for the virtues of wisdom,
     sincerely, benevolence, courage and strictness.

     10. By method and discipline are to be understood
     the marshaling of the army in its proper subdivisions,
     the graduations of rank among the officers, the maintenance
     of roads by which supplies may reach the army, and the
     control of military expenditure.

     11. These five heads should be familiar to every general:
     he who knows them will be victorious; he who knows them
     not will fail.

     12. Therefore, in your deliberations, when seeking
     to determine the military conditions, let them be made
     the basis of a comparison, in this wise:–

     13. (1) Which of the two sovereigns is imbued
     with the Moral law?
     (2) Which of the two generals has most ability?
     (3) With whom lie the advantages derived from Heaven
     and Earth?
     (4) On which side is discipline most rigorously enforced?
     (5) Which army is stronger?
     (6) On which side are officers and men more highly trained?
     (7) In which army is there the greater constancy
     both in reward and punishment?

     14. By means of these seven considerations I can
     forecast victory or defeat.

     15. The general that hearkens to my counsel and acts
     upon it, will conquer: let such a one be retained in command!
     The general that hearkens not to my counsel nor acts upon it,
     will suffer defeat:–let such a one be dismissed!

     16. While heading the profit of my counsel,
     avail yourself also of any helpful circumstances
     over and beyond the ordinary rules.

     17. According as circumstances are favorable,
     one should modify one’s plans.

     18. All warfare is based on deception.

     19. Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable;
     when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we
     are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away;
     when far away, we must make him believe we are near.

     20. Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder,
     and crush him.

     21. If he is secure at all points, be prepared for him.
     If he is in superior strength, evade him.

     22. If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to
     irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.

     23. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest.
     If his forces are united, separate them.

     24. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where
     you are not expected.

     25. These military devices, leading to victory,
     must not be divulged beforehand.

     26. Now the general who wins a battle makes many
     calculations in his temple ere the battle is fought.
     The general who loses a battle makes but few
     calculations beforehand. Thus do many calculations
     lead to victory, and few calculations to defeat:
     how much more no calculation at all! It is by attention
     to this point that I can foresee who is likely to win or lose.
     [To Chinese text |To Top]

     II. WAGING WAR

     1. Sun Tzu said: In the operations of war,
     where there are in the field a thousand swift chariots,
     as many heavy chariots, and a hundred thousand
     mail-clad soldiers, with provisions enough to carry them
     a thousand li, the expenditure at home and at the front,
     including entertainment of guests, small items such as
     glue and paint, and sums spent on chariots and armor,
     will reach the total of a thousand ounces of silver per day.
     Such is the cost of raising an army of 100,000 men.

     2. When you engage in actual fighting, if victory
     is long in coming, then men’s weapons will grow dull and
     their ardor will be damped. If you lay siege to a town,
     you will exhaust your strength.
     3. Again, if the campaign is protracted, the resources
     of the State will not be equal to the strain.

     4. Now, when your weapons are dulled, your ardor damped,
     your strength exhausted and your treasure spent,
     other chieftains will spring up to take advantage
     of your extremity. Then no man, however wise,
     will be able to avert the consequences that must ensue.

     5. Thus, though we have heard of stupid haste in war,
     cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays.

     6. There is no instance of a country having benefited
     from prolonged warfare.

     7. It is only one who is thoroughly acquainted
     with the evils of war that can thoroughly understand
     the profitable way of carrying it on.

     8. The skillful soldier does not raise a second levy,
     neither are his supply-wagons loaded more than twice.

     9. Bring war material with you from home, but forage
     on the enemy. Thus the army will have food enough
     for its needs.

     10. Poverty of the State exchequer causes an army
     to be maintained by contributions from a distance.
     Contributing to maintain an army at a distance causes
     the people to be impoverished.

     11. On the other hand, the proximity of an army causes
     prices to go up; and high prices cause the people’s
     substance to be drained away.

     12. When their substance is drained away, the peasantry
     will be afflicted by heavy exactions.

     13,14. With this loss of substance and exhaustion
     of strength, the homes of the people will be stripped bare,
     and three-tenths of their income will be dissipated;
     while government expenses for broken chariots, worn-out horses,
     breast-plates and helmets, bows and arrows, spears and shields,
     protective mantles, draught-oxen and heavy wagons,
     will amount to four-tenths of its total revenue.

     15. Hence a wise general makes a point of foraging
     on the enemy. One cartload of the enemy’s provisions
     is equivalent to twenty of one’s own, and likewise
     a single picul of his provender is equivalent to twenty
     from one’s own store.

     16. Now in order to kill the enemy, our men must
     be roused to anger; that there may be advantage from
     defeating the enemy, they must have their rewards.

     17. Therefore in chariot fighting, when ten or more chariots
     have been taken, those should be rewarded who took the first.
     Our own flags should be substituted for those of the enemy,
     and the chariots mingled and used in conjunction with ours.
     The captured soldiers should be kindly treated and kept.

     18. This is called, using the conquered foe to augment
     one’s own strength.

     19. In war, then, let your great object be victory,
     not lengthy campaigns.

     20. Thus it may be known that the leader of armies
     is the arbiter of the people’s fate, the man on whom it
     depends whether the nation shall be in peace or in peril.
     [To Chinese text |To Top]

     III. ATTACK BY STRATAGEM

     1. Sun Tzu said: In the practical art of war, the best
     thing of all is to take the enemy’s country whole and intact;
     to shatter and destroy it is not so good. So, too, it is
     better to recapture an army entire than to destroy it,
     to capture a regiment, a detachment or a company entire
     than to destroy them.

     2. Hence to fight and conquer in all your battles
     is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists
     in breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.

     3. Thus the highest form of generalship is to
     balk the enemy’s plans; the next best is to prevent
     the junction of the enemy’s forces; the next in
     order is to attack the enemy’s army in the field;
     and the worst policy of all is to besiege walled cities.

     4. The rule is, not to besiege walled cities if it
     can possibly be avoided. The preparation of mantlets,
     movable shelters, and various implements of war, will take
     up three whole months; and the piling up of mounds over
     against the walls will take three months more.

     5. The general, unable to control his irritation,
     will launch his men to the assault like swarming ants,
     with the result that one-third of his men are slain,
     while the town still remains untaken. Such are the disastrous
     effects of a siege.

     6. Therefore the skillful leader subdues the enemy’s
     troops without any fighting; he captures their cities
     without laying siege to them; he overthrows their kingdom
     without lengthy operations in the field.

     7. With his forces intact he will dispute the mastery
     of the Empire, and thus, without losing a man, his triumph
     will be complete. This is the method of attacking by stratagem.

     8. It is the rule in war, if our forces are ten
     to the enemy’s one, to surround him; if five to one,
     to attack him; if twice as numerous, to divide our army
     into two.

     9. If equally matched, we can offer battle;
     if slightly inferior in numbers, we can avoid the enemy;
     if quite unequal in every way, we can flee from him.

     10. Hence, though an obstinate fight may be made
     by a small force, in the end it must be captured
     by the larger force.

     11. Now the general is the bulwark of the State;
     if the bulwark is complete at all points; the State will
     be strong; if the bulwark is defective, the State will
     be weak.

     12. There are three ways in which a ruler can bring
     misfortune upon his army:–

     13. (1) By commanding the army to advance or to retreat,
     being ignorant of the fact that it cannot obey.
     This is called hobbling the army.

     14. (2) By attempting to govern an army in the
     same way as he administers a kingdom, being ignorant
     of the conditions which obtain in an army. This causes
     restlessness in the soldier’s minds.

     15. (3) By employing the officers of his army
     without discrimination, through ignorance of the
     military principle of adaptation to circumstances.
     This shakes the confidence of the soldiers.

     16. But when the army is restless and distrustful,
     trouble is sure to come from the other feudal princes.
     This is simply bringing anarchy into the army, and flinging
     victory away.

     17. Thus we may know that there are five essentials
     for victory:
     (1) He will win who knows when to fight and when
     not to fight.
     (2) He will win who knows how to handle both superior
     and inferior forces.
     (3) He will win whose army is animated by the same
     spirit throughout all its ranks.
     (4) He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take
     the enemy unprepared.
     (5) He will win who has military capacity and is
     not interfered with by the sovereign.

     18. Hence the saying: If you know the enemy
     and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a
     hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy,
     for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat.
     If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will
     succumb in every battle.
     [To Chinese text |To Top]

     IV. TACTICAL DISPOSITIONS

     1. Sun Tzu said: The good fighters of old first put
     themselves beyond the possibility of defeat, and then
     waited for an opportunity of defeating the enemy.

     2. To secure ourselves against defeat lies in our
     own hands, but the opportunity of defeating the enemy
     is provided by the enemy himself.
     3. Thus the good fighter is able to secure himself against defeat,
     but cannot make certain of defeating the enemy.

     4. Hence the saying: One may know how to conquer
     without being able to do it.

     5. Security against defeat implies defensive tactics;
     ability to defeat the enemy means taking the offensive.

     6. Standing on the defensive indicates insufficient
     strength; attacking, a superabundance of strength.

     7. The general who is skilled in defense hides in the
     most secret recesses of the earth; he who is skilled in
     attack flashes forth from the topmost heights of heaven.
     Thus on the one hand we have ability to protect ourselves;
     on the other, a victory that is complete.

     8. To see victory only when it is within the ken
     of the common herd is not the acme of excellence.

     9. Neither is it the acme of excellence if you fight
     and conquer and the whole Empire says, “Well done!”

     10. To lift an autumn hair is no sign of great strength;
     to see the sun and moon is no sign of sharp sight;
     to hear the noise of thunder is no sign of a quick ear.

     11. What the ancients called a clever fighter is
     one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.

     12. Hence his victories bring him neither reputation
     for wisdom nor credit for courage.

     13. He wins his battles by making no mistakes.
     Making no mistakes is what establishes the certainty
     of victory, for it means conquering an enemy that is
     already defeated.

     14. Hence the skillful fighter puts himself into
     a position which makes defeat impossible, and does
     not miss the moment for defeating the enemy.

     15. Thus it is that in war the victorious strategist
     only seeks battle after the victory has been won,
     whereas he who is destined to defeat first fights
     and afterwards looks for victory.

     16. The consummate leader cultivates the moral law,
     and strictly adheres to method and discipline; thus it is
     in his power to control success.

     17. In respect of military method, we have,
     firstly, Measurement; secondly, Estimation of quantity;
     thirdly, Calculation; fourthly, Balancing of chances;
     fifthly, Victory.

     18. Measurement owes its existence to Earth;
     Estimation of quantity to Measurement; Calculation to
     Estimation of quantity; Balancing of chances to Calculation;
     and Victory to Balancing of chances.

     19. A victorious army opposed to a routed one, is as
     a pound’s weight placed in the scale against a single grain.

     20. The onrush of a conquering force is like the bursting
     of pent-up waters into a chasm a thousand fathoms deep.

     [To Chinese text |To Top]

     V. ENERGY

     1. Sun Tzu said: The control of a large force
     is the same principle as the control of a few men:
     it is merely a question of dividing up their numbers.

     2. Fighting with a large army under your command
     is nowise different from fighting with a small one:
     it is merely a question of instituting signs and signals.

     3. To ensure that your whole host may withstand
     the brunt of the enemy’s attack and remain unshaken–
     this is effected by maneuvers direct and indirect.

     4. That the impact of your army may be like a grindstone
     dashed against an egg–this is effected by the science
     of weak points and strong.

     5. In all fighting, the direct method may be used
     for joining battle, but indirect methods will be needed
     in order to secure victory.

     6. Indirect tactics, efficiently applied, are inexhaustible
     as Heaven and Earth, unending as the flow of rivers and streams;
     like the sun and moon, they end but to begin anew;
     like the four seasons, they pass away to return once more.

     7. There are not more than five musical notes,
     yet the combinations of these five give rise to more
     melodies than can ever be heard.

     8. There are not more than five primary colors
     (blue, yellow, red, white, and black), yet in combination
     they produce more hues than can ever been seen.

     9. There are not more than five cardinal tastes
     (sour, acrid, salt, sweet, bitter), yet combinations
     of them yield more flavors than can ever be tasted.

     10. In battle, there are not more than two methods
     of attack–the direct and the indirect; yet these two
     in combination give rise to an endless series of maneuvers.

     11. The direct and the indirect lead on to each other in turn.
     It is like moving in a circle–you never come to an end.
     Who can exhaust the possibilities of their combination?

     12. The onset of troops is like the rush of a torrent
     which will even roll stones along in its course.

     13. The quality of decision is like the well-timed
     swoop of a falcon which enables it to strike and destroy
     its victim.

     14. Therefore the good fighter will be terrible
     in his onset, and prompt in his decision.

     15. Energy may be likened to the bending of a crossbow;
     decision, to the releasing of a trigger.

     16. Amid the turmoil and tumult of battle, there may
     be seeming disorder and yet no real disorder at all;
     amid confusion and chaos, your array may be without head
     or tail, yet it will be proof against defeat.

     17. Simulated disorder postulates perfect discipline,
     simulated fear postulates courage; simulated weakness
     postulates strength.

     18. Hiding order beneath the cloak of disorder is
     simply a question of subdivision; concealing courage under
     a show of timidity presupposes a fund of latent energy;
     masking strength with weakness is to be effected
     by tactical dispositions.

     19. Thus one who is skillful at keeping the enemy
     on the move maintains deceitful appearances, according to
     which the enemy will act. He sacrifices something,
     that the enemy may snatch at it.

     20. By holding out baits, he keeps him on the march;
     then with a body of picked men he lies in wait for him.

     21. The clever combatant looks to the effect of combined
     energy, and does not require too much from individuals.
     Hence his ability to pick out the right men and utilize
     combined energy.

     22. When he utilizes combined energy, his fighting
     men become as it were like unto rolling logs or stones.
     For it is the nature of a log or stone to remain
     motionless on level ground, and to move when on a slope;
     if four-cornered, to come to a standstill, but if
     round-shaped, to go rolling down.

     23. Thus the energy developed by good fighting men
     is as the momentum of a round stone rolled down a mountain
     thousands of feet in height. So much on the subject
     of energy.
     [To Chinese text |To Top]

     VI. WEAK POINTS AND STRONG

     1. Sun Tzu said: Whoever is first in the field and
     awaits the coming of the enemy, will be fresh for the fight;
     whoever is second in the field and has to hasten to battle
     will arrive exhausted.

     2. Therefore the clever combatant imposes his will on
     the enemy, but does not allow the enemy’s will to be imposed on him.

     3. By holding out advantages to him, he can cause the enemy
     to approach of his own accord; or, by inflicting damage,
     he can make it impossible for the enemy to draw near.

     4. If the enemy is taking his ease, he can harass him;
     if well supplied with food, he can starve him out;
     if quietly encamped, he can force him to move.

     5. Appear at points which the enemy must hasten to defend;
     march swiftly to places where you are not expected.

     6. An army may march great distances without distress,
     if it marches through country where the enemy is not.

     7. You can be sure of succeeding in your attacks
     if you only attack places which are undefended.You can
     ensure the safety of your defense if you only hold
     positions that cannot be attacked.

     8. Hence that general is skillful in attack whose
     opponent does not know what to defend; and he is skillful
     in defense whose opponent does not know what to attack.

     9. O divine art of subtlety and secrecy! Through you
     we learn to be invisible, through you inaudible;
     and hence we can hold the enemy’s fate in our hands.

     10. You may advance and be absolutely irresistible,
     if you make for the enemy’s weak points; you may retire
     and be safe from pursuit if your movements are more rapid
     than those of the enemy.

     11. If we wish to fight, the enemy can be forced
     to an engagement even though he be sheltered behind a high
     rampart and a deep ditch. All we need do is attack
     some other place that he will be obliged to relieve.

     12. If we do not wish to fight, we can prevent
     the enemy from engaging us even though the lines
     of our encampment be merely traced out on the ground.
     All we need do is to throw something odd and unaccountable
     in his way.

     13. By discovering the enemy’s dispositions and remaining
     invisible ourselves, we can keep our forces concentrated,
     while the enemy’s must be divided.

     14. We can form a single united body, while the
     enemy must split up into fractions. Hence there will
     be a whole pitted against separate parts of a whole,
     which means that we shall be many to the enemy’s few.

     15. And if we are able thus to attack an inferior force
     with a superior one, our opponents will be in dire straits.

     16. The spot where we intend to fight must not be
     made known; for then the enemy will have to prepare
     against a possible attack at several different points;
     and his forces being thus distributed in many directions,
     the numbers we shall have to face at any given point will
     be proportionately few.

     17. For should the enemy strengthen his van,
     he will weaken his rear; should he strengthen his rear,
     he will weaken his van; should he strengthen his left,
     he will weaken his right; should he strengthen his right,
     he will weaken his left. If he sends reinforcements everywhere,
     he will everywhere be weak.

     18. Numerical weakness comes from having to prepare
     against possible attacks; numerical strength, from compelling
     our adversary to make these preparations against us.

     19. Knowing the place and the time of the coming battle,
     we may concentrate from the greatest distances in order
     to fight.

     20. But if neither time nor place be known,
     then the left wing will be impotent to succor the right,
     the right equally impotent to succor the left, the van
     unable to relieve the rear, or the rear to support the van.
     How much more so if the furthest portions of the army are
     anything under a hundred LI apart, and even the nearest
     are separated by several LI!

     21. Though according to my estimate the soldiers
     of Yueh exceed our own in number, that shall advantage
     them nothing in the matter of victory. I say then
     that victory can be achieved.

     22. Though the enemy be stronger in numbers, we may
     prevent him from fighting. Scheme so as to discover
     his plans and the likelihood of their success.

     23. Rouse him, and learn the principle of his
     activity or inactivity. Force him to reveal himself,
     so as to find out his vulnerable spots.

     24. Carefully compare the opposing army with your own,
     so that you may know where strength is superabundant
     and where it is deficient.

     25. In making tactical dispositions, the highest pitch
     you can attain is to conceal them; conceal your dispositions,
     and you will be safe from the prying of the subtlest spies,
     from the machinations of the wisest brains.

     26. How victory may be produced for them out of the enemy’s
     own tactics–that is what the multitude cannot comprehend.

     27. All men can see the tactics whereby I conquer,
     but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory
     is evolved.

     28. Do not repeat the tactics which have gained
     you one victory, but let your methods be regulated
     by the infinite variety of circumstances.

     29. Military tactics are like unto water; for water in its
     natural course runs away from high places and hastens downwards.

     30. So in war, the way is to avoid what is strong
     and to strike at what is weak.

     31. Water shapes its course according to the nature
     of the ground over which it flows; the soldier works
     out his victory in relation to the foe whom he is facing.

     32. Therefore, just as water retains no constant shape,
     so in warfare there are no constant conditions.

     33. He who can modify his tactics in relation to his
     opponent and thereby succeed in winning, may be called
     a heaven-born captain.

     34. The five elements (water, fire, wood, metal, earth)
     are not always equally predominant; the four seasons make
     way for each other in turn. There are short days and long;
     the moon has its periods of waning and waxing.
     [To Chinese text |To Top]

     VII. MANEUVERING

     1. Sun Tzu said: In war, the general receives his
     commands from the sovereign.

     2. Having collected an army and concentrated his forces,
     he must blend and harmonize the different elements thereof
     before pitching his camp.

     3. After that, comes tactical maneuvering,
     than which there is nothing more difficult.
     The difficulty of tactical maneuvering consists
     in turning the devious into the direct, and misfortune into gain.

     4. Thus, to take a long and circuitous route,
     after enticing the enemy out of the way, and though starting
     after him, to contrive to reach the goal before him,
     shows knowledge of the artifice of DEVIATION.

     5. Maneuvering with an army is advantageous;
     with an undisciplined multitude, most dangerous.

     6. If you set a fully equipped army in march in order
     to snatch an advantage, the chances are that you will be
     too late. On the other hand, to detach a flying column
     for the purpose involves the sacrifice of its baggage
     and stores.

     7. Thus, if you order your men to roll up their
     buff-coats, and make forced marches without halting day
     or night, covering double the usual distance at a stretch,
     doing a hundred LI in order to wrest an advantage,
     the leaders of all your three divisions will fall into
     the hands of the enemy.

     8. The stronger men will be in front, the jaded
     ones will fall behind, and on this plan only one-tenth
     of your army will reach its destination.

     9. If you march fifty LI in order to outmaneuver
     the enemy, you will lose the leader of your first division,
     and only half your force will reach the goal.

     10. If you march thirty LI with the same object,
     two-thirds of your army will arrive.

     11. We may take it then that an army without its
     baggage-train is lost; without provisions it is lost;
     without bases of supply it is lost.

     12. We cannot enter into alliances until we are
     acquainted with the designs of our neighbors.

     13. We are not fit to lead an army on the march
     unless we are familiar with the face of the country–its
     mountains and forests, its pitfalls and precipices,
     its marshes and swamps.

     14. We shall be unable to turn natural advantage
     to account unless we make use of local guides.

     15. In war, practice dissimulation, and you will succeed.

     16. Whether to concentrate or to divide your troops,
     must be decided by circumstances.

     17. Let your rapidity be that of the wind,
     your compactness that of the forest.

     18. In raiding and plundering be like fire,
     is immovability like a mountain.

     19. Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night,
     and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.

     20. When you plunder a countryside, let the spoil be
     divided amongst your men; when you capture new territory,
     cut it up into allotments for the benefit of the soldiery.

     21. Ponder and deliberate before you make a move.

     22. He will conquer who has learnt the artifice
     of deviation. Such is the art of maneuvering.

     23. The Book of Army Management says: On the field
     of battle, the spoken word does not carry far enough:
     hence the institution of gongs and drums. Nor can ordinary
     objects be seen clearly enough: hence the institution
     of banners and flags.

     24. Gongs and drums, banners and flags, are means
     whereby the ears and eyes of the host may be focused
     on one particular point.

     25. The host thus forming a single united body,
     is it impossible either for the brave to advance alone,
     or for the cowardly to retreat alone. This is the art
     of handling large masses of men.

     26. In night-fighting, then, make much use of signal-fires
     and drums, and in fighting by day, of flags and banners,
     as a means of influencing the ears and eyes of your army.

     27. A whole army may be robbed of its spirit;
     a commander-in-chief may be robbed of his presence of mind.

     28. Now a soldier’s spirit is keenest in the morning;
     by noonday it has begun to flag; and in the evening,
     his mind is bent only on returning to camp.

     29. A clever general, therefore, avoids an army when
     its spirit is keen, but attacks it when it is sluggish
     and inclined to return. This is the art of studying moods.

     30. Disciplined and calm, to await the appearance
     of disorder and hubbub amongst the enemy:–this is the art
     of retaining self-possession.

     31. To be near the goal while the enemy is still
     far from it, to wait at ease while the enemy is
     toiling and struggling, to be well-fed while the enemy
     is famished:–this is the art of husbanding one’s strength.

     32. To refrain from intercepting an enemy whose
     banners are in perfect order, to refrain from attacking
     an army drawn up in calm and confident array:–this
     is the art of studying circumstances.

     33. It is a military axiom not to advance uphill
     against the enemy, nor to oppose him when he comes downhill.

     34. Do not pursue an enemy who simulates flight;
     do not attack soldiers whose temper is keen.

     35. Do not swallow bait offered by the enemy.
     Do not interfere with an army that is returning home.

     36. When you surround an army, leave an outlet free.
     Do not press a desperate foe too hard.

     37. Such is the art of warfare.
     [To Chinese text|To Top]

     VIII. VARIATION IN TACTICS

     1. Sun Tzu said: In war, the general receives
     his commands from the sovereign, collects his army
     and concentrates his forces

     2. When in difficult country, do not encamp. In country
     where high roads intersect, join hands with your allies.
     Do not linger in dangerously isolated positions.
     In hemmed-in situations, you must resort to stratagem.
     In desperate position, you must fight.

     3. There are roads which must not be followed,
     armies which must be not attacked, towns which must
     be besieged, positions which must not be contested,
     commands of the sovereign which must not be obeyed.

     4. The general who thoroughly understands the advantages
     that accompany variation of tactics knows how to handle
     his troops.

     5. The general who does not understand these, may be well
     acquainted with the configuration of the country, yet he
     will not be able to turn his knowledge to practical account.

     6. So, the student of war who is unversed in the art
     of war of varying his plans, even though he be acquainted
     with the Five Advantages, will fail to make the best use
     of his men.

     7. Hence in the wise leader’s plans, considerations of
     advantage and of disadvantage will be blended together.

     8. If our expectation of advantage be tempered in
     this way, we may succeed in accomplishing the essential
     part of our schemes.

     9. If, on the other hand, in the midst of difficulties
     we are always ready to seize an advantage, we may extricate
     ourselves from misfortune.

     10. Reduce the hostile chiefs by inflicting damage
     on them; and make trouble for them, and keep them
     constantly engaged; hold out specious allurements,
     and make them rush to any given point.

     11. The art of war teaches us to rely not on the
     likelihood of the enemy’s not coming, but on our own readiness
     to receive him; not on the chance of his not attacking,
     but rather on the fact that we have made our position unassailable.

     12. There are five dangerous faults which may affect
     a general:
     (1) Recklessness, which leads to destruction;
     (2) cowardice, which leads to capture;
     (3) a hasty temper, which can be provoked by insults;
     (4) a delicacy of honor which is sensitive to shame;
     (5) over-solicitude for his men, which exposes him
     to worry and trouble.

     13. These are the five besetting sins of a general,
     ruinous to the conduct of war.

     14. When an army is overthrown and its leader slain,
     the cause will surely be found among these five
     dangerous faults. Let them be a subject of meditation.
     [To Chinese text|To Top]

     IX. THE ARMY ON THE MARCH

     1. Sun Tzu said: We come now to the question of
     encamping the army, and observing signs of the enemy.
     Pass quickly over mountains, and keep in the neighborhood
     of valleys.

     2. Camp in high places, facing the sun. Do not climb
     heights in order to fight. So much for mountain warfare.

     3. After crossing a river, you should get far away
     from it.

     4. When an invading force crosses a river in its
     onward march, do not advance to meet it in mid-stream.
     It will be best to let half the army get across,
     and then deliver your attack.

     5. If you are anxious to fight, you should not go
     to meet the invader near a river which he has to cross.

     6. Moor your craft higher up than the enemy, and facing
     the sun. Do not move up-stream to meet the enemy.
     So much for river warfare.

     7. In crossing salt-marshes, your sole concern
     should be to get over them quickly, without any delay.

     8. If forced to fight in a salt-marsh, you should
     have water and grass near you, and get your back
     to a clump of trees. So much for operations in salt-marches.

     9. In dry, level country, take up an easily accessible
     position with rising ground to your right and on your rear,
     so that the danger may be in front, and safety lie behind.
     So much for campaigning in flat country.

     10. These are the four useful branches of military
     knowledge which enabled the Yellow Emperor to vanquish
     four several sovereigns.

     11. All armies prefer high ground to low and sunny
     places to dark.

     12. If you are careful of your men, and camp on hard
     ground, the army will be free from disease of every kind,
     and this will spell victory.

     13. When you come to a hill or a bank, occupy the
     sunny side, with the slope on your right rear.
     Thus you will at once act for the benefit of your soldiers
     and utilize the natural advantages of the ground.

     14. When, in consequence of heavy rains up-country,
     a river which you wish to ford is swollen and flecked
     with foam, you must wait until it subsides.

     15. Country in which there are precipitous cliffs
     with torrents running between, deep natural hollows,
     confined places, tangled thickets, quagmires and crevasses,
     should be left with all possible speed and not approached.

     16. While we keep away from such places, we should
     get the enemy to approach them; while we face them,
     we should let the enemy have them on his rear.

     17. If in the neighborhood of your camp there should
     be any hilly country, ponds surrounded by aquatic grass,
     hollow basins filled with reeds, or woods with thick
     undergrowth, they must be carefully routed out and searched;
     for these are places where men in ambush or insidious
     spies are likely to be lurking.

     18. When the enemy is close at hand and remains quiet,
     he is relying on the natural strength of his position.

     19. When he keeps aloof and tries to provoke a battle,
     he is anxious for the other side to advance.

     20. If his place of encampment is easy of access,
     he is tendering a bait.

     21. Movement amongst the trees of a forest shows that the
     enemy is advancing. The appearance of a number of screens
     in the midst of thick grass means that the enemy wants to make us suspicious.

     22. The rising of birds in their flight is the sign
     of an ambuscade. Startled beasts indicate that a sudden
     attack is coming.

     23. When there is dust rising in a high column,
     it is the sign of chariots advancing; when the dust is low,
     but spread over a wide area, it betokens the approach
     of infantry. When it branches out in different directions,
     it shows that parties have been sent to collect firewood.
     A few clouds of dust moving to and fro signify that the army
     is encamping.

     24. Humble words and increased preparations are signs
     that the enemy is about to advance. Violent language
     and driving forward as if to the attack are signs that he
     will retreat.

     25. When the light chariots come out first and take
     up a position on the wings, it is a sign that the enemy
     is forming for battle.

     26. Peace proposals unaccompanied by a sworn covenant
     indicate a plot.

     27. When there is much running about and the soldiers
     fall into rank, it means that the critical moment has come.

     28. When some are seen advancing and some retreating,
     it is a lure.

     29. When the soldiers stand leaning on their spears,
     they are faint from want of food.

     30. If those who are sent to draw water begin
     by drinking themselves, the army is suffering from thirst.

     31. If the enemy sees an advantage to be gained and
     makes no effort to secure it, the soldiers are exhausted.

     32. If birds gather on any spot, it is unoccupied.
     Clamor by night betokens nervousness.

     33. If there is disturbance in the camp, the general’s
     authority is weak. If the banners and flags are shifted
     about, sedition is afoot. If the officers are angry,
     it means that the men are weary.

     34. When an army feeds its horses with grain and kills
     its cattle for food, and when the men do not hang their
     cooking-pots over the camp-fires, showing that they
     will not return to their tents, you may know that they
     are determined to fight to the death.

     35. The sight of men whispering together in small
     knots or speaking in subdued tones points to disaffection
     amongst the rank and file.

     36. Too frequent rewards signify that the enemy is
     at the end of his resources; too many punishments betray
     a condition of dire distress.

     37. To begin by bluster, but afterwards to take fright
     at the enemy’s numbers, shows a supreme lack of intelligence.

     38. When envoys are sent with compliments in their mouths,
     it is a sign that the enemy wishes for a truce.

     39. If the enemy’s troops march up angrily and remain
     facing ours for a long time without either joining
     battle or taking themselves off again, the situation
     is one that demands great vigilance and circumspection.

     40. If our troops are no more in number than the enemy,
     that is amply sufficient; it only means that no direct attack
     can be made. What we can do is simply to concentrate all
     our available strength, keep a close watch on the enemy,
     and obtain reinforcements.

     41. He who exercises no forethought but makes light
     of his opponents is sure to be captured by them.

     42. If soldiers are punished before they have grown
     attached to you, they will not prove submissive; and,
     unless submissive, then will be practically useless.
     If, when the soldiers have become attached to you,
     punishments are not enforced, they will still be unless.

     43. Therefore soldiers must be treated in the first
     instance with humanity, but kept under control by means
     of iron discipline. This is a certain road to victory.

     44. If in training soldiers commands are habitually
     enforced, the army will be well-disciplined; if not,
     its discipline will be bad.

     45. If a general shows confidence in his men but always
     insists on his orders being obeyed, the gain will be mutual.
     [To Chinese text|To Top]

448. Bann Thin Mints!!!!!
     August 29th, 2007 | 20:34

     Admin handle that fool please.

449. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 20:37

     longest post in history

450. DaLoon
     August 29th, 2007 | 20:48

     i cracked it i went an paid for it

451. Mission_Man
     August 29th, 2007 | 20:54

     Here is the crack!

     www.teamloosh.com/programs/rofles_bioshock-patch[v2]_tL.rar

452. 13
     August 29th, 2007 | 20:59

     I think important part to remember is that Atlas=Fontaine, and that you kill RYan with a golf stick. Carry on.

453. what?
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:00

     www.teamloosh.com/programs/rofles_bioshock-patch[v2]_tL.rar
     confirmed, this works. Make sure yer AV is off like the info states.

454. no0ne
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:06

     pwned

455. b#art
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:08

     mhm, when i start that teamloosh hack it sais that i don’t got the paul.dll .where to get it???

456. -_-
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:09

     lmao

     “confirmed, this works. Make sure yer AV is off like the info states.”

     please let us install bifrose backdoor to fuck you up

457. haszen
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:10

     contains backdoor BDS/Bifrose.NU

458. 13
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:11

     no need to be alarmed. As you can see, b#art still has the ability to post.

459. geekdget
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:20

     LOL “Make sure yor AV is off like the info states.” FUCKING IDIOT !!

460. Thin Mints
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:33

     SCREW U GUYS, I’m on level 1-2

461. b#art
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:35

     i still can’t get it to work and no virus found on that file…

462. markus
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:38

     so is this new file a virus or working ??? cause the nfo doesnt say anything about turning off your AV ??

463. b#art
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:41

     i don’t know if it works.
     virus? scanned it and turned out clean and my req is still running smooth sow…

464. haszen
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:42

     Just tried it on a test pc. This thing does nothing (except installing a neat backdoor program).

465. 11
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:48

     LOL test pc hehehheeh

466. haszen
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:53

     well… yeah, it’s as easy as that.

467. 16
     August 29th, 2007 | 21:57

     who the test pc belong to? Your little brother?

     why are you so mean haszen?

468. talk
     August 29th, 2007 | 22:00

     for talk about bioshock crack: http://biocrack.inventforum.com

469. 9
     August 29th, 2007 | 22:05

     check this shit out bitches,
     Woman leaves dog 12 million in will, none for her grandkids
     http://biz.yahoo.com/ap/070829/helmsley_s_pooch.html?.v=1
     Now that’s some oldschool family hatred alright.

470. geekdget
     August 29th, 2007 | 22:18

     She’s a fuckin bitch !!

471. test this
     August 29th, 2007 | 22:49

     http://thepiratebay.org/tor/3788689/BioShock_experimental_keygen…

     no virus
     but none working keys found yet
     its an alpha project

472. so close?
     August 29th, 2007 | 22:59

     so when the game once has been activated it works right? so why doesn’t anyone ups an installed and verifed version?

473. DaZe
     August 29th, 2007 | 23:19

     Damn game companies protecting their property. This really sucks. I was hoping to get a gander at this game. I am downloading the demo (1.8 GB for 10 minute demo) but would love to see a release here.

474. DaZe
     August 29th, 2007 | 23:20

     Oops…30 minute demo..not 10. At least according to a website review of the demo.

475. After Eight
     August 30th, 2007 | 00:13

     Thin Mints:

     Now i know u love cock

476. DaLoon
     August 30th, 2007 | 00:31

     Thin Mints bet you playing it on easy an using a trainer you do talk a load of bullox

477. After Eight
     August 30th, 2007 | 00:47

     Thin Mints Said: “never played any of the Systemshock games, so this was my first visit to the shock world. I can’t say I am very impressed either”

     Then go play fucking tetris and stop anoying serious gamers u retarded freak.

     U really do suck cock, on the highschool playground probably by teh morning and your grandaddy at the afternoon. At night u came here and bitch like u had plyed something else beside tetris while u waited for the morning to suck more cock.

     ok i resume: u suck. hard.

478. so close?
     August 30th, 2007 | 01:42

     lol, full ack. but how about my idea that an activated installation might be transportable on other systems? so we don’t need to activate it anymore..

479. hahaha
     August 30th, 2007 | 03:03

     Its a crap idea, the activation system is like WPA, it will detect different hardware and will require buttsechs

480. Bigtex
     August 30th, 2007 | 03:03

     I love people all saying, “Just go buy this game, this is the game you should buy if you buy any”. No, it’s not, for me. Maybe it is for you, but I refuse to buy a game that is single player only, no thank you. I buy plenty of games, I have a slew of console games from years of systems, I have binders full of software I’ve purchased. I agree with the thought of paying for movies, games or applications that deserve it, but no one can tell me what is and is not worth purchasing.

     I will purchase a game from a company I believe puts effort into their work, such as id. I will purchase a game that keeps with modern times and is innovative. Not one that won’t give online play. I will purchase an application that has become so useful in my life the thought of owning a cracked copy now (Photoshop anyone?) is disgusting, they EARNED the money, and they deserve it, to me.

     Some of you might not give a rats ass about photoshop, or any id games, I can’t say you’re wrong, and I don’t frown on you ripping theirs, I believe in the statement of just paying for what you think they earned. Bioshock doesn’t make the cut for me, so you can get off your high and mighty horse and lick my ass.

     Why are you on the forums telling me to buy Bioshock anyway when it’s clearly a location people are looking for a work around. Have you already beaten your single player game, and have nothing to do again? Did you already get the multi endings? I’m guessing so, and when you can do that in a day, I can find better things to do with $70 bucks. Such as wait for the other 10 $70 dollar games that do offer multi-player and are also superb quality.

481. Trane
     August 30th, 2007 | 04:16

     i should just save those $70 dollars so i can pay off the rest of my Halo 3 legendary pre-order

482. Jhonny2Knucles
     August 30th, 2007